Time and Trauma

And I think of that “Groundhog Day” movie with Bill Murray in which he repeats the same day, again and again, with only minor changes. If you’ve seen the movie, Murray finally breaks out of what appears to be an infinite loop only when he changes his ways, his approach to life, his mentality. He becomes a better person and even gets the girl.

When is the USA going to break out of its infinite loop of war? Only when we change our culture, our mentality.

A “war on terror” is a forever war, an infinite loop, in which the same place names and similar actions crop up again and again. Names like Mosul and Helmand province. Actions like reprisals and war crimes and the deaths of innocents, because that is the face of war.

~W.J. Astore, Happy 4th of July! And a Global War on Something

* * *

The impression we form is that it is not that linear time perception or experience that has been corrupted by trauma; it is that time “itself” has been traumatized — so that we come to comprehend “history” not as a random sequence of events, but as a series of traumatic clusters. This broken time, this sense of history as a malign repetition, is “experienced” as seizure and breakdown; I have placed “experienced” in inverted commas here because the kind of voiding interruption of subjectivity seems to obliterate the very conditions that allows experience to happen.

It is as if the combination of adolescent erotic energy with an inorganic artefact … produces a trigger for a repeating of the ancient legend. It is not clear that “repeating” is the right word here, though. It might be better to say that the myth has been re-instantiated, with the myth being understood as a kind of structure that can be implemented whenever the conditions are right. But the myth doesn’t repeat so much as it abducts individuals out of linear time and into its “own” time, in which each iteration of the myth is in some sense always the first time.

…the mythic is part of the virtual infrastructure which makes human life as such possible. It is not the case that first of all there are human beings, and the mythic arrives afterwards, as a kind of cultural carapace added to a biological core. Humans are from the start — or from before the start, before the birth of the individual — enmeshed in mythic structures.

~Mark Fisher, Eerie ThanatosThe Weird and the Eerie (pp. 96-97)

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Sleep and Schedules

Sleep and Schedules

Posted on Dec 16th, 2008 by Marmalade : Gaia Child Marmalade
I’ve felt a bit off recently.  I haven’t been sleeping well this past month and I’ve been off my normal schedule.  Visits from friends and family have added to my sleep alteration.  I was feeling dead tired a week ago and took a couple of sick days off to try to recuperate.  I rarely take sick days (I’ve gone years without taking a sick day off), but I really needed it. 

My schedule is still slightly off even though I’ve been sleeping better again.  My whole sense of time seems to be off recently. 

The day after the two sick days I accidentally went to work late.  I was taking a nap before work and set my alarm.  In the process of messing with the clock, I changed the timezone on it as its an atomic clock. 

And then I went to work late again today.  For an odd reason, today felt like Saturday to me and I go to work later on Saturdays.  I think the reason for my confusion was that I worked on my day off which I rarely do and it threw off my routine.  I have a split weekend and Saturday normally comes after my first day off of the week.  Since I worked Friday, it made it feel like my whole week had shifted.  My unconscious mind had a rule it was following and told my conscious mind it was Saturday. 

It simply felt like Saturday and I had a shock to my system when I finally noticed what day it was.  I felt kind of stupid.  If I had given it a moment of conscious thought it would’ve been obvious that it couldn’t be Saturday for various reasons.

Its extremely unusual for me to go to work late.  I have an issue about tardiness as my mom raised me to be very time conscious.  I’m a person that likes to get to work 30 minutes early despite my living so close by.  I have a very set routine and I live only a block away from work.  It doesn’t take me long to get ready and walk to work and I give myself plenty of leeway.

These kinds of events tend to happen in multiples. Its usually during a period of time when my schedule has shifted or been disrupted.  I’ll have to pay attention more closely to time and days until my system gets reset to my regular routine.

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Nicole : wakingdreamer

about 17 hours later

Nicole said

hope you get reset soon. i’m starting to wonder when my own clock will turn right side up again.

Marmalade : Gaia Child

about 24 hours later

Marmalade said

Your schedule is probably worse than mine. Do you even have a routine schedule? Your life always sounds so busy and stressful. I know I couldn’t handle it.

I’m feeling more rested or at least more back in a normal routine. I was rather paranoid today looking at my clock making sure time, timezone, and days were all in appropriate order; and then checking against my computer clock just to be sure.

Its strange how I normally never have to think about such things because my unconscious mind normally tells me the correct info. I rarely give thought to what day it is. I usually just know what day it is. And I certainly never give much thought to what timezone it is as that doesn’t generally change much for me… maybe for you it does. lol

Nicole : wakingdreamer

2 days later

Nicole said

Oh, it’s not as bad as you think. These days, I am in slow and lazy mode, quiet mornings with little in the way of work happening, and going into work three afternoons a week. I’m enjoying the down time. And you’re right, at this point, I can’t blame jetlag anymore, my sleep is as bad as usual, which means I have no trouble getting to sleep but am restless dreaming and often wake up by about 4 or so and sleep poorly thereafter.

Glad to hear you are back to normal too. It’s cool that you usually instinctively keep track.

Timezones? Well usually I never change them so this year making four trips from June to December out of my time zone was stretching it, I guess. My body is not impressed 🙂