Truth About Repubs is Funny

The following articles from The Onion are funny because they are so close to the truth. Republicans, however, might not find them very amusing.

 – – – 

Embarrassed Republicans Admit They’ve Been Thinking Of Eisenhower Whole Time They’ve Been Praising Reagan

WASHINGTON—At a press conference Monday, visibly embarrassed leaders of the Republican National Committee acknowledged that their nonstop, effusive praise of Ronald Reagan has been wholly unintentional, admitting they somehow managed to confuse him with Dwight D. Eisenhower for years.

Eisenhower

The GOP’s humiliating blunder was discovered last weekend by RNC chairman Reince Priebus, who realized his party had been extolling “completely the wrong guy” after he watched the History Channel special Eisenhower: An American Portrait.

“When I heard about Eisenhower’s presidential accomplishments—holding down the national debt, keeping inflation in check, and fighting for balanced budgets—it hit me that we’d clearly gotten their names mixed up at some point,” Priebus told reporters. “I couldn’t believe we’d been associating terms like ‘visionary,’ ‘principled,’ and ‘bold’ with President Reagan. That wasn’t him at all—that was Ike.”

“We deeply regret misattributing such a distinguished and patriotic legacy to Mr. Reagan,” Priebus added. “We really screwed up.”

Following his discovery, Priebus directed RNC staffers to inform top Republicans of the error and explain that it was Eisenhower, not Reagan, who carefully managed the nation’s prosperity, warned citizens of the military-industrial complex’s growing influence, and led the country with a mix of firm resolve and humble compassion.

Not Eisenhower

“Wait, you’re telling me Reagan advocated that trickle-down nonsense that was debunked years ago? That was Reagan?” Sen. John Thune (R-SD) said upon hearing of the mistake. “I can’t believe I’ve been calling for a return to Reagan’s America. I feel like an asshole.”

According to sources, millions of younger Republicans have spent most of their lives viewing Reagan a stalwart of conservative principles, and many were “horrified” to learn that the former president illegally sold weapons to Iran, declared amnesty for 2.9 million illegal immigrants, costarred in a movie with a chimpanzee, funneled aid to Islamic militants in Afghanistan, and suffered from severe mental problems.

(click here to continue reading)

 – – – 

Mitt Romney Haunted By Past Of Trying To Help Uninsured Sick People

Romney claims he wishes he'd never aided helpless sick people.

BELMONT, MA—Though Mitt Romney is considered to be a frontrunner for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination, the national spotlight has forced him to repeatedly confront a major skeleton in his political closet: that as governor of Massachusetts he once tried to help poor, uninsured sick people.

Romney, who signed the state’s 2006 health care reform act, has said he “deeply regrets” giving people in poor physical and mental health the opportunity to seek medical attention, admitting that helping very sick people get better remains a dark cloud hovering over his political career, and his biggest obstacle to becoming president of the United States of America.

(click here to continue reading)

Best Comment of the Day!

rocky19421  wrote:

The problem is Obama is black; this pisses off the racists.
The problem is Obama is very very smart; this pisses off the stupid people.
The problem is Obama won the election; this pisses off the losers.
The problem is we have a bunch of stupid pissed off racist losers, who are very sore losers and a media that is drawn to them like bugs to a light.

Comment from the following video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pilG7PCV448&feature=fvhl

stupid silliness makes me laugh

stupid silliness makes me laugh

Posted on Nov 27th, 2008 by Marmalade : Gaia Child Marmalade
I’ve had some more serious blogs recenlty and a couple of them quite long.  To be different, this blog won’t be serious or long.  I do plenty of non-serious things even if they don’t make it into my blogging.  I watched two shows this past week that made me laugh more than I had in a while.

I watched Colbert’s Christmas Special.  He has such a silly sense of humor.  His mock seriousness is just pitch perfect.  He had a lot of good stars on that show.  I saw this show when it played on cable.  His shows usually can be seen for free on his website, but this show apparently is only available in clips.  If you have the Comedy Channel, it will probably be played on cable for the next month.  If you’re an easily offended Christian, I wouldn’t recommend it.

I was just looking up about Colbert and came across this Wikiality.  It doesn’t seem to have any official relationship to the Colbert Report, but is obviously inspired by it.  Colbert had some episodes where he played around with the Wikipedia entry about him while live on his show.  Colbert also had a real funny take on truthiness when he roasted Bush some years ago.

Well, the other stupid funny thing I watched recently was Jackass 2.5.  I didn’t watch the whole movie because I only caught a small bit on tv.  I’ve never even watched the show before.  It was mostly what I expected.  It was stupid and very crude in parts, but its amusing for the immature little boy in all of us.  There was one stunt where they had one overweight guy get dressed up as King Kong and another guy as a woman in a blonde wig.  These two guys got up on a porta-potty and the rest of the guys flew model planes at the King Kong guy while he swatted at them.  It was plain silly and it made me laugh.

Access_public Access: Public 6 Comments Print Post this!views (107)  

~Matthew : Youthful Maturity

about 15 hours later

~Matthew said

Colbert is definitely a comic genius, I agree. 

Marmalade : Gaia Explorer

about 16 hours later

Marmalade said

Yeah, Colbert is one of my favorite entertainers.  He has a fair amount of range in his acting abilities, but I don’t like as much in his more serious roles.

~Matthew : Youthful Maturity

about 16 hours later

~Matthew said

Interesting.  I’ve never actually seen him in a serious role.  He’s certainly skilled when it comes to improv.

Marmalade : Gaia Child

about 16 hours later

Marmalade said

Offhand, I can only think of one entirely serious role I’ve seen him in.  It was in the movie Dan in the Real.  I don’t know if he has done any other serious roles.  He played that role well enough, but it just doesn’t compare to how great he is as a comedian.

~Matthew : Youthful Maturity

about 16 hours later

~Matthew said

Hmm.  I saw that movie.  I didn’t know Colbert was in it though…

Marmalade : Gaia Child

about 22 hours later

Marmalade said

You’re right.  I was mixing Carell with Colbert.  I guess that maybe Colbert hasn’t done anything serious.  I just checked the IMDb entry for him.  The only serious one that stood out to me is that he did one episode of Law and Order, but I don’t know how serious of a role he played.

Iraq War Ends… Yeah! :)

Iraq War Ends… Yeah! 🙂

Posted on Nov 13th, 2008 by Marmalade : Gaia Child Marmalade

The Yes Men Distribute Fake New York Times: “Iraq War Ends”

posted by Scott Beale on Wednesday, November 12th, 2008

This morning in NYC international pranksters The Yes Men recruited volunteers through the website Because We Want It to distribute thousands of copies of a fake version of the New York Times dated July 4, 2009 with the headline “Iraq War Ends”.
Gawaker describes how the prank came together and here’s the reaction from the New York Times. There is also an online version of the fake paper, including a PDF.

Access_public Access: Public What do you think? Print Post this!views (84)  

The Onion: Our Robot Masters

The Onion: Our Robot Masters

Posted on Oct 8th, 2008 by Marmalade : Gaia Child Marmalade
This is my favorie Onion video.  Also, here is the link to the video on the Onion website.

 

Access_public Access: Public 1 Comment Print Post this!views (138)  
Tagged with: Onion, robot, master, video, comedy, humor, news
Nicole : wakingdreamer
about 18 hours later

Nicole said

awesome find! very well acted, the three conformists came across as wonderful androids 🙂 this one is going on the Gaian humour pod.

Where do babies come from?

Sadie: Where do babies come from?

Debbie: Where do you think they come from?

Sadie: Well. I think a stork, he umm, he drops it down and then, and then, a hole goes in your body and there’s blood everywhere, coming out of your head and then you push your belly button and then your butt falls off and then you hold your butt and you have to dig and you find the little baby.

Debbie: That’s exactly right.