Iowans and Alien Invasion

The Alien Invasion genre is more popular in Iowa than compared to most states, including elsewhere in the Midwest.

After being abducted by aliens a few times in a cornfield, you start to take the alien issue more seriously. Watch the movie ‘Children of the Corn’ and you’ll understand that great dangers lurk in cornfields. It’s not just dreams that are found in those fields. If you build it, you can’t be certain who or what will come.

Let’s just say that we are concerned. And we are also prepared, as another Iowan favorite is the Amateur Crime Fighters genre. Still, we are open to other possibilities, as we also like the Paranormal Romance genre. We’re undecided about the appropriate response to the unknown.

We don’t care much about the Fairy Tale genre, though. That is kid’s stuff. No one ever worries about a fairy invasion. Just don’t eat the food at the fairy banquet and you should be fine.

As for the Health & Fitness genre and the Money genre, we couldn’t care less. When the aliens invade, such mundane details of existence will be the least of our worries. Besides, the aliens offer free ‘health’ exams and, once they take over the planet, the entire monetary system won’t matter all that much.

We Iowans prefer to keep ourselves grounded with our enjoyment of the Humor genre. Maybe the aliens will turn out to have a sense of humor. Or even if not, it’s probably wise to not take things too seriously. The aliens will do what they will do.

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17 thoughts on “Iowans and Alien Invasion

  1. Yet another screed, proffering wildly speculative, Iowan invective as fact. Mr. Steele would have us believe that Iowa is essentially where Dorothy’s balloon landed after her Kansas dustup. I’m not convinced. Always so few facts from the man, so many sceptres waving in the air, as if one in each hand wasn’t enough, like a cubist, liberal Trump. I shouldn’t find blogs based on their cat photos, apparently even when a cat is practically the logo.

    I will concede a grain of truth to this puff piece: almost all Iowans discourse at length about aliens, on a daily basis. The children’s blue-ribbon dioramas in Iowan schools aren’t of the Marianas Trench, or glaciers, but of saucers or worse, and always in the garish green Iowan CVS’s provide on aisle caps, in tubs and sheets and spray cans.

    Iowans are Lake Wobegon’s poorer but sharper cousins, with enough sense to stay well south of land that might as well be Canada. More jaded, certainly, but anyone would be bleak when alien ships land and take off night and day behind the neighbor’s barn.

    • For some reason, your comment ended up in my spam box. I wouldn’t take it as a personal criticism by wordpress, although I would note that most of what was found in the spam box was actual spam, mostly porn-related. So, the company your comment was keeping was not exactly of high quality.

      Still, I have to admit that you have me figured out. This indeed is a screed, yet another one. I can’t help myself. It’s in my nature. All the corn goes to one’s brain, after a while. You stare at corn fields for years on end and we’ll see if you’re able to remain sane. It’s truly heroic what we Iowans must endure.

      Why do those Lake Wobegonians get all the fame? Their children might be above average, but our obesity is above average. We produce well fed children and well fed hogs. No one goes hungry in Iowa, assuming you like corn.

      They call us flyover country. What they don’t tell you is what is flying over. And if the aliens are listening, could you please leave the cattle alone! It hurts our feelings when you mutilate ol’ Bessie. We are a sensitive people. Besides, it’s just in bad taste to leave cow corpses lying around. That is what slaughterhouses are for. Aliens have no sense of manners.

      When Trump talks about the illegal aliens, we Iowans know what the real threat is. Sure, build a wall, not that we care. But how do we build a wall tall enough to keep the space aliens from getting in? We wouldn’t be so bothered, if all they were doing was taking our jobs. It’s plain unneighborly to anally probe someone and then leave them to wake up out in the fields or on some country road.

      How is a working man supposed to have self-respect these days? No wonder there is a meth and opioid epidemic!

    • Maybe it’s the aliens. It would be interesting to know the ideological disposition and voting pattern most commonly found among the experiencers of alien phenomena. That is the kind of scientific research I’d like to see.

      It probably would turn out that liberals get abducted more, considering the strongly liberal-minded measure as higher in thin boundaries, fantasy-proneness, alcoholism, and drug-taking. So, do UFO sightings and alien abduction rates increase in small communities when the liberal class moves in?

      Also, is it true that Trump is a lizard person? Or is it Clinton who is the lizard person? Or are they both lizard people and the election was an alien mating ritual?

  2. Reposting a comment from here:
    http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2017/04/moving-beyond-liberal-narratives-motivates-trump-voters.html#comment-2793905

    Like it or not, the Democratic Party betrayed the left, betrayed the New Deal, and became a second pro-war, pro-Wall Street Party.

    Trump, despite being widely disliked at least was offering the economically devastated an opportunity potentially to improve their lives. That was assuming that he kept his promises. Most people voted for him out of despair knowing that even if he did not keep his promises, they would have lost nothing since Clinton would not have either.

    As for the wealthy Democrats? They wanted the bottom 90% to preserve their “upper class” and “upper middle class privilege”. That’s what this is about. They want the people making less than 30,000 a year to vote the same way as big city Liberals making more than 130,000 a year.

    I think that this is what identity politics is about. Had Clinton won, she would not have done much for the minorities. Maybe she would have called them superpredators again. Same with the constant Bernie Bashing. They desperately wanted to shut down Bernie Sanders because he called out, if only briefly, what a terrible candidate Clinton was. She would have suppressed the left aggressively.

    Clinton did make some gains among wealthy GOP voters. It wasn’t enough to turn the election, but that’s what they tried.
    https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/11/clinton-election-polls-white-workers-firewall/

    Bernie Sanders’s style of class politics — and his program of mild social-democratic redistribution — did not gain much favor in New Canaan, Connecticut (where he won 27 percent of the vote) or Northfield, Illinois (39 percent). For some suburban Democrats, Sanders’s throttling in these plush districts virtually disqualified him from office: “A guy who got 36 percent of the Democrats in Fairfax County,” an ebullient Michael Tomasky wrote after the Virginia primary, “isn’t going to be president.”

    Clinton was their candidate. By holding off Sanders’s populist challenge — and declining to concede fundamental ground on economic issues — the former secretary of state proved she could be trusted to protect the vital interests of voters in Newton, Eden Prairie, and Falls Church. They, more than any other group in America, were enthusiastically #WithHer.

    To some extent, Clinton’s appeal even carried over to wealthy red-state suburbs. In Forysth County outside Atlanta, and Williamson County outside Nashville — the richest counties in Georgia and Tennessee — Clinton lost big but improved significantly on Obama’s performance in 2012.

    But wealthy, educated suburbanites were never going to push the Democrats over the top all by themselves. Despite Clinton’s incremental gains, in the end, most rich white Republicans remained rich white Republicans: hardly the sturdiest foundation for an anti-Trump majority.

    The numbers show it.

    As for the Liberals freaking out, they can be split into a few categories:

    The ones who profited economically from the status quo, like the professional 10%ers. They don’t want someone who is going to rock the boat. The Fairfax County Jacobin article captures them brilliantly. They hated Bernie Sanders.
    The SJWs, intersectionalists, second generation feminists, and other identity politics groups. They are not all wealthy, but unifying them is their identity politics ideology.
    The hardcore Democratic partisans who “vote blue no matter who”.

    The Liberals want to pretend like it was racism or sexism or Russia that prevented their “chosen one” from winning. In reality it was economics and the fact that people could see what Clinton really was. For all the talk of the most progressive platform ever, Clinton was really the anti-thesis of Bernie Sanders.

    Did they really think their identity politics was going to fool anyone? We saw upper middle class well off people lecturing less well off Bernie Sanders supporters this election to check their “white privilege”, even though the Sanders supporters were often poor and had their future destroyed by the economic policies that neoliberal politicians like Hillary Clinton advocated for.

    I think it is because they don’t want to appeal to working class people, because if they did, they would have to serve them.

    This election has been a real eye-opener as to who our allies and opponents are in this class struggle. I think that in the coming years we will see a Liberal Left split of sorts. The best possible outcome is a third party or even better the Democrats going the way of the Whigs.

    Maybe Jimmy Dore and Nick Brana have the right ideas:

    But building a third party would have huge barriers too. The US is more like a soft authoritarian nation:
    https://www.jacobinmag.com/2016/11/bernie-sanders-democratic-labor-party-ackerman/

    The question is, how to build such a party? There is clearly the votes. Bernie showed that and the left might even find some common ground with Trump voters. Keep in mind they are paleoconservatives who are anti-war, want manufacturing and good benefits. By contrast the Clintons are pro war and economically have more in common with the GOP Establishment than the Trump “economic despair base”.

    Clearly there may be opportunities.

      • I’m not entirely cynical. But I have lost faith in the system. I’ve come to the sense that we might be long past internal reform of any kind, even a third party.

        At present, there appears to be no way to move forward from where we are at. And we can’t remain in our present situation. There is no other option from within the system. And no other option outside of the system could be possible without overturning the system.

      • Here is another thought that is always on my mind these days.

        Predictions are near impossible. Normal conditions are no longer operating and so normal patterns may not apply. Slight shifts in conditions could have large-scale results that are beyond our imagining.

        For decades, trends have been developing, but we haven’t yet seen what they might signify. When all those trends come together, the whole they result in will likely be greater than any trend taken separately.

        That is how major changes happening, not by planning and scheming but by everything going unpredictably in new directions. That is all the more reason to understand where we are at so that we can respond well to the unpredictable when it comes.

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