Vicky Jo works in the field of Jungian typology. She is an INFJ, and she often writes about the distinction between INFJ and INFP. She mentions that John Beebe has experienced in his own practice that INFPs are the most judgmental types he has as clients. Let me explain why this might be from the perspective of my being an INFP.
First off, Vicky Jo also says that Beebe considers Fi the least understood function-attitude. So, there may be good reason that INFPs are or appear judgmental. John Giannini claims our whole society is oriented towards ESTJ and he claims that Jung thought this societal tendency started back in second century Christianity. We INFPs have been oppressed for a long time. Yes, we INFPs are prone to being judmental… especially we male INFPs as ESTJ is the ultimate ideal of masculinity.
INFPs can judge quickly because we are so capable of accessing people quickly. An INFP looks past the superficial and looks straight into the souls of other people… or that is how it can feel like to the INFP. If an INFP feels they can’t sense the true self of the other, they won’t trust that person and probably will suspect the person is hiding something. INFPs are very aware of facades and social personas which are seen as meaningless at best and deceptive at worst.
INFPs are sensitive, territorial, personal, self-aware, and perceptive… and so defensive of what we know at a deep level. INFPs are so “self” aware that we often feel we’re more aware of others than others are of themselves. INFPs have a strong sense of the individual, be it the INFP’s sense of their own individuality or the individuality of others. And INFPs are very aware of relationships between individuals, hyper-aware even… all the while being super sensitive about group dynamics which often are responded to negatively if they feel intrusive. An extreme INFP can be neurotically aware of everything around them… every little nuance in the environment will be felt… or else the INFP will become shut down completely and focus entirely inward which will probably just make them all the more sensitive to every tiny perceived intrusion.
The INFP thinks of self in terms of self-honoring, self-loving, self-honoring and self-respect, but a different type may perceive an INFPs self-focus as selfish (as INFPs aren’t always known for being outwardly responsible types). INFPs hold authenticity above almost all else, and any perceived inauthenticity is utterly unforgivable.
INFPs know their values strongly and are very clear in their feelings. They’re judgmental of others in the same way that they’re also judgmental of themselves. An INFP’s moral code, their deepest value is felt as an absolute truth. They would sacrifice everything including their life if challenged at this most fundamental level. If this deepest level of their self is transgressed, their only choice is to fight back or else feel broken. Considering how difficult it is for an INFP to fight back and win in an ESTJ world, many INFPs feel broken.
INFPs are the idealists, the artists, and the lovers of the world. INFPs hate conflict (although may feel invigorated by a righteous cause). Black and white thinking is a particular issue with INFPs, and as Te is their inferior/aspirational it’s easy for an INFP when stressed to fall into black and white thinking themselves. For an INFP, there is an absolute right and wrong and INFPs are very talented at discerning subtle moral complexities… but this ability gets undermined when they get pulled into their inferior, when they are ‘in the grip’. There is a contradition within INFPs. They can be the most empathetic, most understanding, most compassionate type you will ever meet… but get on the wrong side of them or catch them in the wrong mood, and you will see the face of absolute judgment or even righteous vengeance. I had a discussion with some INFPs about how our type would make the best terrorist. An INFP would gladly die for a cause that they felt worthy… heck we INFPs could even romanticize the whole concept of dying for a cause… because we INFPs want a cause that is worth dying for or else what is the point of living at all.
The odd thing about INFPs is that normally we appear as extremely laid back (when not stressed). When feeling safe and in our own comfort zone, we are the prototype of laid back. INFPs don’t want to cause waves unnecessarily. We save our energy for the important things which are rare. Most things just don’t matter. We care about the deep issues and not the everyday superficial conflicts (although these everyday events certainly can demoralize the INFP). Because INFPs want to go with the flow, we tend hide our deepest values until someone encroaches on them… and, when that happens, they will know in the clearest of terms (or maybe not). INFPs can hold a grudge and you may not even know why (even if you realize such a grudge exists). An INFP might not even consider you worthy of an explanation or they just assume you should know as they know… and if you don’t know, then that is your problem. An INFPs isn’t necessarily trying to play mind-games and INFPs do value honesty, but their strong sense of privacy can create an aloofness (or at least what appears as aloofness to other types).
INFPs are so hidden and we can express ourselves so subtly that it’s easy for other types to be completely confused. INFPs can seem solid or still in how unexpressive we are, but realize there is often deep ocean currents within… the stillness of the surface is a mirage. INFPs are so capable of looking past the facades of others for the very reason that INFPs are so capable of putting up their own facades. INFPs, in self-defense, often don’t want others to be able to read them. You have to earn an INFP’s trust for them to let you enter their world and their world is vast. And once you earn their trust, beware anyone who betrays it.
At Vicky Jo’s website, she describes Beebe’s view of Fi (“Beebe On Fi” in the drop down box):
Dr. Beebe says that Fi spends a lot of time brooding over incomparable human values for the future.
Fi concerns itself with integrity
It is about “honor” versus “policy.”
Fi is a “worrying” function.
The metaphor he uses for Fi is a variation on the seven blind men and the elephant — do you know that one? Well, John says that instead of seven blind men, it’s more like seven introverted Feeling tentacles feeling the elephant to try to figure out the form of the value.
Introverted Feeling’s intention and deepest goal is “understanding.” It wants to know where value went wrong and where it might be reinstated.
Fi concerns itself with integrity, and John says symptoms of integrity issues include depression and anxiety. He wonders if “anxiety” altogether might be a form of Fi?
He states that “Honor” is a key term for introverted Feeling. What they want more than anything is a sense of “respect.” If introverted Feeling does not feel respected, you will be estranged from them, and no longer occupy a place in their life.
At the following link, there is a video of Vicky Jo (an INFJ) talking with an INFP. Notice how the INFP slumps a bit, leans away, hides his hands, and expresses a slight reticient nervousness. Also, notice the loose fitting clothing he wears and notice how his appearance in general is more plain (no bright colors or striking patterns).
http://www.infj.com/INFJorINFP.htm
At this next link, there is another interview with an INFP. This guy is more self-confident, but even so there is still a strongly reserved quality. Also, notice the similarities to the other INFP: slumping, loose clothing, plain appearance, etc.
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/InterviewWithSteve.htm
Some think that Ghandi was an INFP, and here are quotes that Vicky Jo picked as being representative of an INFP.
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/Gandhi.htm
I noticed some examples on Vicky Jo’s website. INFPs want to integrate or become the dragon rather than slay it. INFPs simply want to experience and to help others to experience deep feelings rather than make those feelings go away as if they were a problem to be solved (go to the website and sellect “Perfect Example of Fi” in the drop down window).
Here are some other pages about INFPs on Vicky Jo’s website:
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/INFPInforming.htm
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/INFPPhilosophy.htm
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/ContrastFiFe.htm
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/FiOrNi.htm
http://www.infjorinfp.com/docs/ContrastNiNe.htm
For something slightly different, I always enjoy perusing the Green Light Wiki on Lenore Thomson (in particular, check out the page on Fi).
Filed under: Psychology Tagged: | INFP, John Beebe, judgmental, Vicky Jo
Beebe also says that introverted Feeling is the most “idealistic” of the 8 functions. It’s reeeally disappointed when reality does not match the ideal. So it’s easy to imagine that DomFi’s (INFPs, ISFPs) would be the most disappointed in life.
I wonder how this lands with you….?
-Vicky Jo
Hello Vicky Jo!
I don’t know if we’ve ever met, but I’ve seen your comments around the web on various forums. As I recall, some people from Global Chatter knew you and maybe used your services. The issue of INFP vs INFJ was a favorite topic on Global Chatter and so your website was referenced somewhat often. John Beebe’s work was also fairly popular there.
How does that land with me?
Simply put, INFPs are most definitely idealistic to the extreme which would seem directly connected to the whole judgmental issue.
This judgmental tendency may seem odd because it’s obvious that most INFPs have a natural ability to empathize. I think that if they can learn to be more patient and forgiving (which is something that is a constant challenge for me), this ability to empathize can counteract their quickness to judge.
One problem is that INFPs empathize (and identify) a lot with the underdog and so it’s easy for them to empathize with those who suffer greatly. For me, when I hear of the suffering of another, I experience it as my own suffering. All of the suffering in the world is something I can tangibly feel as easily as the ground beneath my feet, but this leads to compassion fatigue.
I’m fond of what George Carlin said: “Scratch a cynic and you’ll find a failed idealist.” You can’t be judgmental if you don’t have high standards… and unrealistically high hopes are probably not unusual.
For INFPs (and I suppose ISFPs), these standards are very personal and so the failure of these standards is experienced very personally (even when they aren’t their own personal failings). Such failures are taken to heart and can be magnified as failings of society, of life, or even of the world entirely.
INFPs want to believe their dreams are possible, that life holds great potential. INFPs want something to believe in, something to be committed to.
I knew an INFP from the forum Global Chatter who liked to be a clown in his spare time. I literally mean he liked to dress up as a clown in order to entertain and bring joy to others, but I could tell that he took his clowning very seriously. It gave him a sense of meaning and purpose.
It’s a lucky INFP who finds something that gives them a deep sense of meaning and purpose. It doesn’t entirely matter if most people don’t care just as long as they aren’t being actively thwarted in their endeavors and get an occasional sense of appreciation and accomplishment.
Secretly, though, INFPs do want to fit in with and be accepted by at least a few people they’re close to. An INFP may feign a desire for independence, but they have a strong desire to connect. INFPs may be judgmental because they’re easily irritated if they don’t have enough space and time to themselves. I think many INFPs feel a conflict between wanting to connect deeply with others and wanting to retreat deeply within themselves.
In general, many INFPs feel conflicted about many things. Many INFPs I’ve met speak of a feeling of woundedness. I don’t know if they necessarily had more difficult childs, but their sensitivity magnifies the normal difficulties of childhood. I think the research that Ernest Hartmann did with thin boundary types applies very much to the experience of INFPs.
[...] wrote a blog post about Beebe supposedly considering INFPs to be the most judgmental type – http://benjamindavidsteele.wordpress.com/2009/12/11/infp-most-judgmental-type/). Also, INTPs can at times be extremely nitpicky. If an INTP isn’t relaxed, it’s [...]
How ironic that the article that essentially labels another type of personality, then goes on to justify the label and defend both the label and the justification… is written about the opinions of someone who is an INF – Judgmental yet goes on to suggest that an INF -Perceptive is the MORE judgmental.
I’ve taken enough of these classes in a business setting to understand that there is something called “TJ” humor – but it has always been an “FP” who has the objectivity to step back and see it. The “FJ” in the room (if there is one) will usually defend and argue for the “TJ” people who don’t get it. Meanwhile, the “FP” people will see the humor, adapt to the stated offenses, respond to the emotions presented, bond with the “TPs” in the room.
I would like to suggest to that whoever wrote this article is probably also a “J” of sorts and was more clearly able to see Vicky Jo’s perspective. It is also worth noting that there is a distinction between observing something in the moment and making an assessment of the observation and observing something and smacking a label on it and writing on the label with indelible ink. By definition, the later is an example of being judgmental.
I have taken numerous free online tests and I took the official test. I’ve always come out as INFP. I’ve been on numerous forums (a couple of INFP forums, an INTP forum, an ENTJ forum, and an all types forum). I’ve had many extensive discussions with INFPs and other types. This blog is based on the discussions I’ve had with other INFPs where they agreed that INFPs can be very judgmental.
You seem to be demonstrating how little you know about MBTI. First, no MBTI practitioner would type someone they never met and they would recommend against anyone else doing it. It’s a misuse of the theory. Second, anyone with a basic grasp of MBTI knows there is a difference between judging as a commonly used term and MBTI ‘Judging’.
Idealistic to the extreme and sometimes come out as judgmental. Yes, that would be me. I really liked your post, it is more in-depth than a lot of´other posts about INFPs. Thank you.
http://www.dreamersbehinddesks.com
I’m glad you liked it. I’ve thought a lot about and discussed a lot about what it means to be an INFP. Discovering Myers-Briggs was a great boon from which I gained many insights over the years. I don’t study it as much recently, but it still constantly informs how I think about the world.
[...] weak Fe and the general IXXP 'laziness' which seems accurate, but it's like the N is a given. Also INFP: Most Judgmental Type? may be of interest to you. Black and white thinking is a particular issue with INFPs, and as Te [...]
This gets me. Thank you!
You’re welcome!
I’m a INFP and it describes me to a perfectly. Thanks for the post.
I’m glad it resonates with you.
When writing a post like this, I worry about generalizing too much on my own experience. Fortunately, I’ve had the opportunity to discuss deeply these issues with many other INFPs and I’ve had good resources from people who have worked with many INFPs.
I might be over-generalizing on certain aspects. Certainly, there is plenty of differences among INFPs as with all types. I still feel confident, though, that I captured a fundamental experience of many INFPs.
If there are INFPs who disagree with my assessment, I’d love to hear their perspective and insight. I’m always open to questioning my assumptions. All my opinions are open-ended, an attitude typical of types with Ne.
Are they the most judgmental or the least judgmental?
My basic conclusion would be the following.
INFPs have the potential to be the most judmental and the least judgmental. It is easy for INFPs to fall into a personal sense of righteous judgment. For that reason, it is also easier for INFPs to develop a sense of empathy toward others which could lead to being more accepting and forgiving.
Righteousness and empathy can go hand in hand within the INFP psyche because of the tendency of INFPs to turn judgment inwards as much as outwards. It’s a judgmentalness based on the personal rather than the ideological.
Vicki Jo is an idiot. I had issues with her on my Yahoo 360 blog. She tries to tell me that I am not an INFP (like she has cornered the market on that personality type for some reason).
I have no personal opinion about Vicki Jo because I have had no personal experience with her beyond this brief interaction.
I’m sorry you had a negative experience. I know other people who have had quite positive experiences with her. These other people said she was helpful to them, but obviously you had a different response.
If Vicki Jo tried to tell you what type you are, she was wrong for doing so. It wouldn’t speak well for her expertise.
I do NOT tell people “what type [they] are.” In my business I guide individuals through a structured type discovery program that helps them identify their best-fit type pattern. Individuals all over the world have been delighted with their experience, and based on that work many have changed their opinion of their type pattern. In some cases, the transformation is quite dramatic — check out my testimonials page for some examples.
I am an MBTI professional, credentialed life coach, and just earned my M.A. in Depth Psychology, deepening my study of type even further into Jung’s original ideas. I present on the topic of type at international conferences, have published type-related articles in peer-reviewed journals, and am often asked by type authors to review their books before publication.
I work from a phenomenological, or evidence-based way of exploring type. In the case cited by Sharon (which I have no memory of), I may have noticed some phenomena that led me to pose questions about whether she has identified her best-fit type pattern, AND that is worlds away from “telling” anyone what their type pattern is.
If someone chooses to take a blog inquiry as a personal insult and then goes around posting online years after the event that “Vicki Jo is an idiot” because they can’t bear to be questioned, that says a lot more about them than it does about me. If someone can’t stand an inquiry about their type on their blog, why are they posting information about it publicly to begin with? A public blog implies they are seeking interaction. Type is not religion, and one doesn’t get to “choose” their type pattern like it’s a faith-based belief system. It doesn’t work that way. Type describes innate tendencies in the psyche that may be identified accurately through evidence (or else I wouldn’t be in business helping people).
When someone reacts with that much “touchiness” about their type, they might be advised to read Marie Louise von Franz’s brilliant essay on “The Inferior Function” where she describes the touchiness of the inferior function.
It’s seems apparent that an uncivil, ad hominem attack such as labeling someone you don’t even know an “idiot” out of the blue represents “inferior” behavior. But I’ll leave it up to you to decide.
-Vicky Jo
Vicky Jo – Thanks for clearing up the issue… as clear as it can be under these conditions when you don’t even remember the event.
I would have been very surprised if you had told someone what their type was since that would go against the entire Myers-Briggs ethos. That is why I said “If…” in my comment.
I didn’t see my role here as defending you. I can’t speak for anyone else about an event I wasn’t involved in whatsoever. I assumed that you were able and willing to defend yourself, as you have done. And I’m glad you responded.
I’m sorry for my blog ending up hosting such conflict and unhappiness, not to blame you of course. Such is the world of internet comments.